Falling and Failing.

The darkest hour, by Claire Corr

The question I was asked this morning was:

What advice would you give to this girl who is suffering and depressed?

would it be:

a) To cut, burn, maim yourself to make it all better?

b) To give them a hug, tell her everything will be ok?

It made me feel pretty damn stupid because I am an option a person. I feel that my mental illness is a weakness and it is a failure to not be able to carry out basic daily functions. i ended up back in hospital on thursday because I just could not cope with the morning and evening battles we have been having with our son. It is a reminder to me of how I was unable to feed him, soothe him or comfort him as a baby.

One day I will become an option b person but it is going to take a whole lot of work.

My option had been the very softly-softly approach, pandering to him and letting him play me. Hubby on the other hand has a military approach to bed time which actually is proving to be a success tonight, even though the tears and tantrums are making my heart bleed.

This inability for us to come up with a middle ground approach, caused me to crumble and fold and collapse in a heap of invisible tears (all cried out nothing left to come out) I was a danger to myself and therefore had to put myself back in a safe place.

I am out now, because to stay in any longer is avoidance and not dealing with the situation, and i would also lose my spot in the DBT programme which I so badly need right now.

I am not better, but I will work very hard this week to make myself better. I will draw, paint and felt it out of my system.

Thank you Kim for the dark and twisties that really helped. We are not alone and we are not freaks. You are an amazing person who makes me laugh, and I love your style and eye makeup.

Laura, thanks for the art and the hugs, you too are an amazing person that has so much to give to everyone.

I ended up not doing the lyrics as hair for her because when I had finished colouring in the skin detail it just spoke a thousand words. Hope you like the finished product.