Today I feel like hitting my head against a brick wall. Again and again and again. I want to climb a tree and sit and throw mugs from it. Run around the street screaming loudly, round and round and round.
I feel the need to do things, unpleasant things to myself. I had to put myself to sleep earlier to stop myself from acting on my impulse.
I have a feeling, and emotion that I can't identify. It isn't my usual anger/ punishment /empty/ numbness shit. It is a UFO. I really don't know what it is.
I have spoken to a few friend over the past couple of days which has been good, arranged a visit to my friend and a playdate for the weekend.
I finished my "Burn" picture, which took time and patience because I have had my funny shaky hand/ time delay thing in both hands today. So I have done lots of pleasant things, I was listening to music nice and loudly whilst finishing "Burn" singing along because that's the way I felt. So it is not that I have been a miserable cow. Unless I have without realising.
Whatever this feeling is, I don't like it, and I would like it to come forward and identify it's self right now then leave because you are not welcome in my headspace.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh"
Looking forward to spending time with my dear and lovely friend Laura tomorrow afternoon doing arty things.
it's awful. You did very well x thinkn of ya
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