Finally I think I get it

I had a really bad day on Thursday. My brain hurt, it was so full of information and new found knowledge, all I wanted to do was put my self to sleep for a long time so I didn't have to feel or think. I felt like I needed to be in hospital to be safe.

However my dr had a different idea, he told my husband that it was avoidance and that I was doing so well with my DBT that I could cope at home.

I was angry, but put myself to sleep for the rest of Thursday. In retrospect most of my issues were caused by sleep deprivation.

Friday I intended to sleep all day and feel sorry for myself. Instead I went to my friend Lauras house and spent the day with her and Kim. We OCD'd Lauras house, we ate pizza and chocolate and had a really good day.I am so glad I made the very last minute decision to go because it was a good day.
I also think most of my crisis was caused by me not taking the correct amount of medication. I had run out and was only taking a small amount of what i needed. Now I have got all the right stuff I am feeling more balanced.
Today I feel like I am at the edge of being manic as I am having all these grand designs of things I could do, but I know they are not readable right now.
I am weighting this on an iPad and it is really annoying me now so I am going to sighn off, and go to the spit with my family and dog and get some much needed fresh air in the real world.
Also my DBT is sinking in and I can actually sees and understand that these crises come in waves. Had I gone to hospital it would have got worse and worse, whereas I am feeling relatively normal today and am actually craving going out inthe fresh air and get out of the house.
I now also understand that until I have seen the neurologist it is hard to see if this is all mental illness or a form of epilepsy or a combination of the 2. Until that is sorted out it is hard to know what is going on.

I am getting frustrated with the swings from high to low and am feeling like I am probably on the urge of being manic. I am having lots of grand plans and ideas that I know I can't possibly do right now.