So I have epilepsy. No ideas as to how or why I have it, it is just there in my brain doing its thing whenever it feels like it. The solution is more medication on top of all the psychiatric drugs I take...you will hear me rattle long before you see me!!!
Oh and I can't drive. At all. But as my husband (who has swallowed my DBT manual) stated: one of my goals is to lose weight and get fit. If I want to go anywhere it will now be by push-bike which will aid me in my weight loss and my need to do some exercise, so there is some slightly warped good coming out of something. I'm not really relishing the prospect of cycling all the way down the road which is really uppy-downy but am looking forward to the enormous sense of achievement and hot bath after it is done.
I refuse to become a home-bound crazy lady and I will use this as much as I can to my benefit. I will have to make sure I remember this on days when everything seems so hard.
I have also demonstrated to myself how well I am doing in DBT because I can accept it for what it is, without any judgement and sit with it. I have also used my "decision box" and can see and accept that although it is important to me, it is out of my control, and there is no point in wasting time and energy worrying over it...I'll just make another scarf or 10 instead!!
It also isn't the miracle answer for why I went crazy in the first place, but that would be too much to expect/ wish for. I am a medical curiosity with my many quirks, but have a good team of doctors and psychologists looking after me and have faith that they will help me through this to recovery.
Oh and one last good thing about the epilepsy medication is that it suppresses the appetite, and therefore counteracts the seroquel munchies that are responsible for a shocking weight gain!!
Enough waffling, thanks for reading xxxx