Whenever I gain control over one aspect in my life, and start to feel happy and everything is going so well, OCD rears its ugly head and I find myself having to fight the toxic waste all over again.
This is the thing with OCD, my former psychologist explained it as one of those fairground attractions where you have to hit the things on the head, when you think they have all gone one pops up in another area. So where I am now feeling quite balanced and on the right path with my recovery OCD rears its ugly head once more.
OCD is not just about hand washing, and counting and repetitive behaviour, it is rituals and structure and doing things because you believe that the day will crumble if you don't do things in a particular way.
I have challenged my cleaning OCD today. I had to ignore the chaos that is our house and just do my normal things blind to the mess.
It was kind of easy to begin with because I have had a sore back, but as the day progressed I found myself being more and more anxious which resulted in me spending a lot of time in bed.
Today I have also had a lot of my funny head thing happening, alongside my funny hand thing. I get slightly distressed about the hand thing because it is my left hand and I am a leftie, and therefore interferes with most of the things I enjoy and use as "Mindfulness"...oh well, only another 2 weeks before I see the neurologist.
Thats all for today, thanks for reading xx
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